“hey, anybody seen a dragon?”

For the past eleven years, I have had one identifying trait about me.  I love Harry Potter.  I loved it when my second grade teacher started reading the first book to us aloud, I loved it when it wasn’t cool to read, I loved it when I had no friends.  Harry Potter has gotten me through some of the toughest moments of my life.  I find myself relating situations in my life to the characters. 

As a rabid fangirl, I have been to the midnight releases for both the books and the movies.  And when Universal announced that they had secured the rights to build a theme park in Universal’s Islands of Adventures, there was no question as to whether or not I was going.

Convincing my mom was not a hard feat.  I showed her the website, the concept art.  She agreed.  It had to happen.  The park’s opening was slated for 2010, the year I graduate high school.  When my sister graduated in ’99, we all went to Disney.  My trip would be to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter, opened June 18th, 2010.  I could not contain myself.

The trip almost came to a screeching halt when I got hurt.  The six-week limit for my supposed immoblizer was right up against our departure.  I was devastated, but absolutely nothing was going to stop me from going.  Of course, it all worked out and the Physician’s Assistant was completely wrong because he’s an idiot and I didn’t need the stupid immobilizer at all. 

Three days, two nights.  Orlando, Florida.  Booked.

AMAZING.

We flew out early Thursday morning, the day after my wonderful city became the focus of national attention because of a drifting duck boat.  I was nervous to fly, as I hadn’t since before 9/11.  Going on the trip would be myself, my mother, and my sister.  My dad is the odd one out in my house, the only one who’s never fallen under the spell.  He opted to stay home and let us dork out in peace.  We left my house at 4 in the morning and flew out a little before 7.  The flight down was faster than expected and went smoothly.  We arrived at Orlando International at 9 and got to our hotel at 10.  We were staying in Universal, with all of the perks (Express passes, water taxi service, etc.)  The hotel, the Loew’s Royal Pacific, had a (obvious) pacific theme to it.  The service was wonderful and everyone there was incredibly helpful.  The room was surprisingly ready when we got there, so we checked in and were at the park by 11. 

The lines were long, but they moved quickly.   I could see  the castle getting closer and closer, and with each step I was becoming more and more excited as I could see what I had only seen in my imagination and on film in real life.  Finally, we stepped through the gates.  To our right was the Hogwarts Express, steaming and whistling.  To our left was Zonkos Joke Shop and Honeydukes Sweets.  It was as if I had fallen right into the movies.  I’m pretty sure that my mouth was open in amazement for that entire first walk through.  The attention to detail in the park was incredible.  Stores that were meant to just be displays were still packed and made to look as if they were just closed.  My mother, sister and I wander about the park, deciding to go on the castle ride. 

Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey was reviewed as technology at it’s best, but I didn’t read them because I wanted to be surprised.  In walking into the castle, I truly felt as if I was a student at Hogwarts.  I passed actual props from the movies, and watched the portraits move from one to another and discuss.   I took pictures of myself standing in front of the Eagle statue leading up to the Headmaster’s office and depositing my memories into the pensive.  Dumbledore stood in his office telling us muggles about how wonderful History of Magic was and how we would enjoy the lecture Professor Binns was going to give us.  The next room was Defense Against the Dark Arts, where Harry, Ron, and Hermione appeared to tell us that we really don’t want to go to History of Magic (although Hermione attempted to remind the boys how fascinating it is, and mentions ‘Hogwarts, A History’, which as a diehard fan made me giggle) and we really want to see a Quidditch match.  Meet them in the Great Hall, and they’ll take you there.  After a walk-through of the Gryffindor common room, we made it.

And then we got on the ride.

It covered most of the trials that Harry went through during his years at Hogwarts.  Hermione enchants the seats so that you fly up and zoom around Hogwarts.  There’s scenery from all of the major moments in the series.  You are chased by a dragon, are attacked by dementors, have to escape the Whomping Willow and thrown into a fierce game of Quidditch.  It felt as if I was there.  It felt as if I had been sucked into this world that I’ve read, watched, and imagined.  It was one of the most incredible things I’ve ever experienced. 

There were the other two rides-the family friendly Flight of the Hippogriff and the roller coaster Dragon Challenge.  Flight was from PoA, where the Care of Magical Creatures class learned about hippogriffs, part eagle, part horse beasts.  As you ascend up the first hill, you are greeted by an amazingly realistic Buckbeak, who bows as you pass.  No flips, no sudden drops, and I was the oldest person on the ride by a good decade; but for a super fan like me it was fun.  The Dragon Challenge features two dueling coasters, channeling GoF, where Harry has to capture the golden egg from a Hungarian Horntail.  In this ride, you either get on a Hungarian Horntail or a Chinese Fireball.  The two coasters weave in and out of each other, with several near misses.  On this one, there were flips and spins and leg room, making it much more age appropriate for me. 

The shops were filled with merchandise straight out of the movies and books.  I sent my friends Owl Post straight from the Owlery, stamped with a Hogsmeade postmark.  I’m typing this out while wearing a pair of Gryffindor flannels, which may be THE MOST COMFORTABLE PANTS IN THE WORLD, from Filtch’s Emporium.  I bought home Chocolate Frogs and other candy from Honeydukes.  My wonderful mommy bought me a Gryffindor robe (yeah, like actual robes from the movies) and the black hat that goes with it from Dervish and Banges.  Olivander’s was tightly packed; one person is picked for the wand choosing.  I was rather pissed that I was not picked and this little girl who jumped the line was, but the demonstration was still incredibly cool.  An assortment of things happened when it wasn’t the right wand-flowers wilted, boxes fell, bells sounded.  I legitimized some of my purchases by saying they were for my dorm–like the pillow with the silk screened Hogwarts panel on one side.  All of this stuff is going to school with me, because my school is awesome and is very Harry Potter friendly and we have a Quidditch team and a Yule Ball.  Be jealous.

Food and drink wise, I drank Pumpkin Juice and Butterbeer, and found I liked Pumpkin Juice more.  Butterbeer came two ways-frozen or normal.  We had it frozen with dinner when we ate at the Three Broomsticks.  Frozen tasted better simply because it was obnoxiously hot, as Florida tends to be in July.  Butterbeer is a very sweet concoction with about five pounds of foam at the top.  Pumpkin Juice was spicy, more like a cider.  It was what Halloween would taste like if you could drink a season.  Dinner at the Three Broomsticks was traditional British fare…very smokey and gamey.  The turkey leg I had was probably larger than my calf.  The Hog’s Head was attached, complete with a hog’s head and shrunken heads (a la PoA film).   Honeydukes was amazing.  It was bright, colorful, and floor-to-ceiling sugar.  There were Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans, Chocolate Frogs, Sugar Quills, Edible Dark Marks, Ton Tounge Toffee, and more.  Every wizarding candy I ever dreamed of eating was there.  There was a section where one could purchase baked goods, such as Hagrid’s rock cakes, cauldron cakes, and pumpkin pasties.  Cauldron cakes became my favorite food from the Wizarding World.   It was basically a dark chocolate carved cupcake filled with chocolate mousse with a solid dark chocolate handle and a small white chocolate stick in it as the ladle.  SO.  GOOD.

As expected, Florida was hot as hell and packed at this time of year.  There were a lot of tourists from all over the world, which really made me smile.  All of us were in this park for one reason.  We all loved The Boy Who Lived.  Harry’s stories are stories of love and friendship, and this park was bringing all of us together.  Only my mother and my sister may know who I am, but I’m sure we ended up in someone else’s pictures.  And I know other people ended up in mine.  We were all connected through the experience of being Harry Potter fans and experiencing the thrills of a lifetime.

The moral of the story-if you have a chance to visit the Wizarding World of Harry Potter, DO IT.  I would go back in a heartbeat.

summertime (and the living is easy)

I go to bed at one or later, I don’t wake up until ten or later.  There’s a party happening nearly every weekend.  No school.  No homework.  Everyone wants to go to the beach.  Sales of aloe and bug spray soar.

It is summer, kids.  Embrace it.

I told a friend that it’s like we’re in the purgatory between high school and college.  Technically, we belong to neither.  We don’t feel like college students just yet, and the diplomas we have made it known that we aren’t high school kids anymore. 

Personally, I enjoy it.  It feels like I have no responsibilities. 

Of course, I do.  I don’t have an official job this summer, rather, a hodgepodge of whatever I can pick up.  Babysitting, house sitting, temping (yes, I have seen that episode of The Office where the temp lights the building on fire.  I’m going to try really hard not to do that), anything.  I’m pretty much self-employed, which is nice.  To an extent, I can pick and choose when I want to work.  As an 18-year-old, I have important things to do.  Like sleep until noon and watch the History Channel and blog. 

I look forward to this summer more than any other because of my lack of responsibilities.  Last year saw me frantically studying for my SATs and doing homework for three AP classes.  The summer before that, it was two APs.  Every summer before that, I had a list of books to read.  This year, I do have assigned reading.  It’s called Colors of the Mountain, by Da Chen.  It’s not that long (a hit at orientation) and from what I’ve heard, rather good.  Chen will be speaking to my class when we all meet at school in August.  The book won’t be a difficult chore for me, as I’m a pretty big geek when it comes to this.  Yesterday, I was outside for an hour on my hammock reading Kurt Vonnegut.  I don’t foresee the book becoming a problem.

I look forward to this summer for a number of reasons.  Yesterday, my doctor told me that the progress that I’ve made with my leg is nothing short of incredible.  The tear was, in his words, “massive”.  I credit my recovery to being young, healthy, and determined.  My determination to get better lies in my excitement to go on vacation, as this vacation is going to be the best weekend of my life.  Three days, two nights, in Universal Orlando at the Wizarding World of Harry Potter.  I will need to be physically escorted off of the premise by no less than seven muscle-bound guards on the third day. 

I also look forward to going with my best friend to go see DCI in August.  The first night we’ll be in the lot, the second night, we’ll be actually watching the field shows.  Eastern Classic is one of the bigger shows, and all of the best corps in the world will be there.  Cavies, Devils, SCV, Cadets.  All of them.  Alyssa’s had a countdown ever since we got the tickets.  DCI has always managed to blow me away; the talent and the intensity are both things I wish I had both as a person and in any band I was in. 

A few friends and I are planning a few beach trips to slip in there before some of us leave for college and band camp and before they start their band camp.  I want to make memories this summer.  I already have, but I want to make more. 

Not every day of summer will be perfect.  There will be the days where it’s so humid my hair will take over.  There will be the summer drama.  I accept that this will happen.  But I know that I want my last summer here before taking the next big jump to be as perfect as humanly possible. 

Summer 2010, bring it.

commencement

We go to school everyday. We learn pointless things, but we are never taught how to love ourselves. We aren’t taught how to make moments last. But I think the most unfair thing, is that at the end of high school, we are tested on something that we were never taught. We have to stand in front of each other and say goodbye.

I remember it starting, four years ago.  My mom has been assembling the paper trail I’ve left behind, and it’s ridiculous.  I’ve changed a lot since beginning high school.  Some of it is obvious; one changes in appearance over four years.  For me, most of it are the personal changes that come from new experiences and new friendships. 

Since my freshman year, I have discovered myself.  I discovered my love of history, I discovered what I wanted to do with my life.  I met my favorite teacher as a junior, and he had a huge impact on the way I saw life.  I became a stronger feminist, and I was honest with myself in regards to my views.  I grew, through years of band, as I learned about how to work as a team and an individual.  Music has been a huge part of my life these last few years.  It has taught me passion, dedication, and will.  It has introduced me to my best friends. 

I don’t remember much specifically from my freshman and sophomore years.  Few things stand out as making me who I am.  The few things come in the form of people, as I made two of my best friends that year and had my first relationship, that lasted until the very end of my junior year.  Sophomore year was my first year in the big house, simply going along with the flow.  I joined new clubs and extracurriculars.  I met new people of all different ages.  I learned about growing up. 

Junior year, I remember.  It was an interesting year; the last year in the old high school.  It had many firsts, in addition to all of the stuff I was still doing.  First years of APs, jazz band, and the full brunt of high school drama.  It had its ups and downs, definitely.  Finally, as a senior, I can fully appreciate everything I’ve done over my life.  This year was my year, all I did was win, win, win.  I’m glad that what happened happened, starting from the summer of ’09 to right now.  I don’t regret anything, which is a lot more than what others can say. 

I can honestly say that my senior year was the best year in my high school career in every aspect. In academics, extracurriculars, friendships and even, in some ways, relationships. I have grown, both as a student and as a person. This year was a defining year for me; as it could have gone in so many different directions. And in August, I will be heading in another new direction. I am ready to face the challenges that college life will bring, and I am ready to do so with the same intensity I had this year.

Yet I leave my legacy behind in the people who stay; my underclassmen friends, to you I pass the torch. It’s your turn to shine and sparkle now. I wish you all the luck and good fortune in the world.  I know that you will make me so proud, because you already have.  This is your time.

To my fellow seniors; we’ve finally done it. My friends are all going off to different places, some locally, some far away. And I know they will all excel at everything they do. My senior friends are the ones I’ve known the longest, and without them, I wouldn’t be the person I am today.   And to all of my friends, regardless of age.  You have made me.  To quote Wicked; “You’ll be with me, like a hand print on my heart. And whatever way our stories end, I know you have rewritten mine by being my friend.”

Yesterday, I became alumni.  I surprised myself.  I didn’t cry.  I have made my peace with high school, with leaving, and with life.  I had an amazing ride the past four years, yet I am ready to move on and try my hand at new things.  I was not sad as I walked across the stage on the field that I marched on countless times.  I was excited.  I know I will leave people behind and I will meet new people.  The only world I’ve known for the past eighteen years will now divide into two separate, yet equally important universes.  I am ready for this.   

As for high school?  All I can say is that it’s all just a memory now.

It’s been real, Class of 2010. Good night, and good luck.

replacement

Have you ever felt replaced?

I have. I do.

And it’s by someone I know I could never replace.

It destroys me a little bit, every day. Every single day I feel the tear in me get bigger and bigger.

I don’t know how to save this. I don’t know if I can. I can do all in my power to…but if the other person doesn’t want me anymore then there’s practically nothing I can do.

And that’s the part that kills me.

lgmh

On my stalkerfeed on facebook, a link to a website called LoveGivesMeHope came up.  Several girls had ‘liked’ a story posted there.  Being curious and bored, I clicked on it.  I knew it had to be affiliated with the optimistic site GivesMeHope, but as I scrolled down the pages and read, I realized this was different.

I can stomach GMH.  It has some nice stories and some genuine moments.  But LGMH made me a tad ill.  It’s overly mushy and too sappy.  A lot of the stories are repeats.  I found myself rolling my eyes at the ridiculousness, and saying to myself, “Oh come on, like that would ever happen.”

I guess I really am that cynical and bitter.  I think I should just stick with FML.

marching band

You know what I hate?  People who disrespect other people, just because they do something else.  As a four-year veteran of high school marching band, this happens all the time.  Marching band has a social stigma about it where the people in it are considered “geeks”.

You know what I have to say to the haters?  You try it.  We work hard, harder than you could imagine.  We’re out there in August, learning drill and music.  Some of our members come to us having never played a band instrument before in their lives.  We welcome them in, and we show them the ropes.  We teach freshmen and seniors alike.  It doesn’t matter to us, so long as you have a love of music.  And we work so hard; I have seen people reduced to tears over frustration.  These people turn into marching machines by the end of the season, having overcome so many obstacles.  We work hard-have you ever had to jazz run at 220 bpm while doing a chromatic run?  I did it as a freshman.  So don’t even tell me we don’t work hard. 

Band is a family, cheesy as it is.  The band room has become a second home to me over the years and many ensembles, as it’s felt as if I’ve been there during the week more than I have been at my own home.  There’s always someone there and there’s always some form of action going on.  These band kids dedicate their lives; I haven’t had a free Saturday in years.  We bond over the long days, and even longer nights.  We bond at hot football games, at cold football games.  We bond over the God awful polyester monkey suits we wear several times a week.  We bond over our hate of white pants and parade music.  By the end of the season, nearly everyone is in tears because it’s over.  Sections bond, grades bond, everyone bonds.  Maybe that’s why some people think we’re like a cult.  Because we’re so dedicated to each other.  Maybe they don’t know what it’s like to constantly have five people who have your back, or five people who would take a bullet for them.  But I do.  We stick together, because sometimes, it’s all we have.  We may not be the winningest or the best, but when you’re hurt and it’s your senior night, there will be a group of people willing to carry you onto the field so you can be recognized.   It is the greatest feeling in the world, knowing that I can walk in and automatically find someone I’m friends with.  Every year, the cycle starts again, with new freshmen replacing the graduated seniors. 

I have never hated marching band.  I may have been frustrated or upset, but I never hated it.  I could have gone many directions as an incoming freshman-I could have gone into drama or stuck with soccer, but I chose band.  And I am so glad I did.  If I had to make the choice over again, I know what I would pick.  And for those of you that jeer us and boo us?  We don’t care.  We have each other, we have our music, and we have our memories.  So understand that you aren’t the cool ones in this situation.  We are.

local politics as usual

Local politics.  Can be found on the streets, in the grocery stores, and in fire houses.  Typically the least cared about form of politics, and the election where the least amount of people show up. 

As a liberal in a fairly conservative area, I would have to be stupid to think my first election day would go without note.  I have yet to vote today, but my father has.  And my father, true to form, decided to taunt the machine. 

The father of a girl I went to elementary school with has been involved in the township’s government for as long as I remember, and he is a die-hard Republican.  He immediately went after my father upon seeing my name not under his party, basically calling them failures for not registering me for the GOP.  My father retorted with saying that I am an independent person, and both he and my mother pride themselves on allowing both of their children to choose what they believe.   Of course, this little man puffed up his chest and went on talking about how he knew everything about what was going on about the township because he was just the world’s best committeeman.   

I chose my party based on my beliefs and ideals, not on what my parents are.  I know several of my classmates in AP Government that simply spew the same things their parents say (sad, isn’t it?).   I have different views than my parents, probably because I am not my parents.  I shouldn’t be expected to think the same way as them, and I shouldn’t be judged because of that.

I also shouldn’t fool myself by thinking that I won’t be judged because of my views.  Like I said, I’m in the minority.  I’m happy, I have my ideology.  I respect my friends that have different views, and (I hope) they respect me.

‘when in doubt, go to the library.’

Where has the holy sanctuary known as the library gone?  The days of silence, only interrupted by the steady ticking of a clock and the sound of pages turning.  I am mortified and personally offended by the current state of the library, a place I love. 

In preparing for two days of upcoming absences, myself along with two other students were sent to the library to complete an essay test.  The test in itself is stressful enough, as forty-five minutes is not long enough to completely analyze the meaning of a given poem.  Completing the task would have been much easier had there been peace and quiet. 

Unfortunately for the three of us, the section of the library directly next to us was occupied by an underclassmen biology class and their very screechy teacher.  Had she and her class been in her room in the science wing, her volume control wouldn’t have been an issue and this wouldn’t have bothered me.   But as I soon found out, analyzing poetry is increasingly difficult when all you can hear is yelling about mutation and reproduction.  Her voice carried across the entire library, and she made no attempt to lower her volume.  It was nearly impossible to concentrate on the task at hand.  This woman obviously had no respect for the handful of other students on the surrounding computers or at tables.  When the bell rang, the three of us looked at each other and breathed a collective sigh of relief; perhaps now we could be able to finish our essays in peace and quiet.  But as we wrote, students trickled back into the library.  We exchanged looks of horror as the teacher proceeded to call role and then greet the class loudly, who then, like trained circus animals, returned the greeting.  In my head, I recalled a scene from a book I love dearly:

“Good afternoon class!”

“Good afternoon, Professor Umbridge.”

As Umbridge gave her class instructions on how to do the assignment, we finished up and got out of there as quickly as possible.  My head was throbbing (from a probable combination of her parrot-like voice, this impossible poem, and slamming my head against the table upon the discovery of having to endure this insufferable woman for longer than expected), and I know I didn’t do as well as I could have on the essay.

Moral of the story?  If you’re in a library, shut up!  Respect the other students in there and keep it down.  It doesn’t matter if you’re a teacher or a student making the noise, it’s probably annoying somebody.

life and literature

A student asked a teacher, “Why do we study poetry?  I’ll never use it after May.”

The class laughs, as most of them probably agree.  The teacher laughs also.  The class is made up of nearly all seniors, all of us going our separate ways in two months.  The atmosphere is relaxed and open for discussion, so we discuss.    Why study this?  The teacher proceeds to ask all of us what we want to be; a mix of engineers, teachers and lawyers, with the occasional original aspiration thrown in.  The teacher then returns to the question.  Why study something that seemingly has no relevance to what we’re going to spend the rest of our lives doing?

His logic was incredibly simple, almost elementary.  But it made so much sense to me. 

Although we may not all become writers or English teachers, it’s not just about becoming one thing and being labeled as it for the next sixty years.  The career path we choose does not define us, nor should we let it. 

“Life is about so much more…it’s about living.” 

We are not meant to be set in stone, and we are not meant to be described by a single noun.  And that was his point.  He didn’t want us all to become the next Walt Whitman or Maya Angelou.  I think he’d puff his chest out if he could say he taught a Pulitzer Prize winning author, but the point of this impromptu discussion was not to get us all enthralled in the world of literature.  I took away that he wanted us to understand things.  Whether it’s a poem or a law, a person or computer; he wanted us to be able to look at something and get it.  He wanted us to open our eyes, and not close ourselves off.  It was so simple, yet so profound at the same time.

Back to the student.  He still thinks the idea of studying poetry is trivial.  He wants to be an engineer. 

From the teacher-“I hope that you become more than that.”

24

Slipping.

Twisting.

Pain.

Staggering.

Fear.

Fire.

Performance.

Dependence.

Defiance.

Swelling.

Helpless.

Cold.

Exhaustion.

Heat.

Useless.

Hopeless.